By Robert Scucci
| Updated
You guys! I’m not so full of myself that I think Trey Parker and Matt Stone are reading my reviews, but I want to point out that I suggested a Woodland Critter Christmas return weeks ago, and South Park’s Season 28 finale, “The Crap Out,” delivered the goods. It could be a case of parallel thought because the birth of the Antichrist is synonymous with the Woodland Critters, but a tiny part of me hopes I had some sort of influence over my favorite creators. If so, I can finally say, in the words of Al Gore, “Everyone is super stoked on me.”
We’ve only seen the Woodland Critters twice. Season 8’s finale introduced them through Cartman’s class project, and Season 11’s Imaginationland Trilogy brought them to life as actual creatures. We haven’t seen them since, so their return was either perfectly planned given how well they fit the Satan and Trump arc, or South Park’s creators really did read my November 21 article and were super cereal about making my holiday wishes come true.
Either way, I’m thrilled the Woodland Critters finally returned to South Park, even if I was hoping for at least one blood orgy. But I got what I asked for, so let’s not get greedy.
Season 28 Closes Out The Stupid Trump Arc, Hopefully For Good
My biggest criticism of Seasons 27 and 28 was how politically charged everything became. I’m far from alone here, and Parker and Stone were self-referential about it throughout the run. Stan Marsh spells it out in “The Woman in the Hat,” saying South Park has gotten too political and even straight up claims that the show sucks now. It isn’t because they were being critical of Donald Trump. It just felt like the same “let’s talk about the news this week” approach that has infected every corner of modern media.
People tune into South Park to watch South Park. The show has always been topical, but the “Orange Man bad” stuff grew stale fast because it’s literally everywhere else and feels lazy at this point because they’re preaching to the choir. Heading into Season 27, most fans assumed Parker and Stone would not take this route because they explicitly said they didn’t want to. Season 27’s premiere was even pushed to avoid coinciding with the 2024 election so they could stop railing on Trump. They said repeatedly that it is impossible to satirize someone who already behaves like a live-action Onion article, and then that’s all they did.
Loose Ends Tied Up, But Also Rushed
There were so many loose ends going into this finale that a rushed conclusion felt inevitable. Mackey joined ICE and got fired. Jesus took his place while being shaped into the worst kind of Christian by PC (Power Christian) Principal. Trump and Satan conceived a butt baby. JD Vance tried to interfere with the pregnancy with help from Peter Thiel and Pete Hegseth. The Hat Lady vanished without resolution. There was simply no feasible way to tie up every narrative thread, many of which I’m not even listing here.
My favorite moment, even though I predicted it from a mile away, was Stan praying to the retirement home toilet bowl and asking Mr. Hankey for a Christmas miracle, only to get bamboozled by the Woodland Critters. They still have the same chipper determination to bring back the Antichrist, but their evil never reaches full bloom this time around. They are beyond excited to be part of Stanny’s adventure, but they function mostly as chaotic background noise. Stan’s frustrated facial expressions as they trot along behind him are reason enough to watch “The Crap Out.” It is a perfect dynamic; they are thrilled to help destroy the world, and Stan is exhausted and done with everything.
The real treat of the finale is the deus ex machina ending, where Jesus literally has a Come to Jesus moment and answers Stan’s prayers. After Satan’s butt baby Epsteined itself, Stan gets his old house back, and it genuinely feels like the series is resetting itself. Stan is back in South Park. Tegrity Farms is gone. And best of all, the Trump and Satan arc appears to be finished for good.
Here’s to wishful thinking and a Christmas miracle that hints South Park may become a little more self contained again next season. We’ll have to wait and see. But if I was right about the Woodland Critters, let’s hope I’m right about this too.
Excelsior!
South Park is streaming on Paramount+.
